I'd Rather Be A Bridesmaid

e. edward grey OR patrick bateman

2012-01-31T16:27:00.001-08:00

On OKCupid I list Secretary as a favorite movie. This is the cleverest, sexiest response to that fact I've received, "I'm sad to report that you and I are only an 84% match. I'll print out a single copy of your profile. Then, I'll take out my red felt-tipped pen and draw a slow circle around all the items I find unsuitable. Then I need you to re-do it."

Dating vs. dating

2011-10-18T11:18:00.001-07:00

(from hellogiggles.com)

you don't have to f*ck people over to survive

2011-10-10T20:09:00.000-07:00

Being the tortoise means you have plenty of time to really notice and appreciate things, things you never saw before, things you never thought before.

First, I realized that the warm feeling I get from "the best" person is partially because of him and partially because of the person I am around him. I like the way I act, I like the things I'm learning. So, even though I don't want this relationship to end anytime soon I am not panicked trying to hold on too tight. One day we might end up just being friends, but I will still get to be this person; maybe even a *better* person.

Second, he has not shied away from flirtation, romance, pillow talk, future plans even though he only wants to get -this- serious. I think most men would avoid these sweet somethings in order to "not give the wrong idea." And that's probably for the best as most women wouldn't be able to keep the two things separate; he'd text sweetly out of blue and they'd think, "He actually does want to be my boyfriend." But because of item First, I get to enjoy those delights of a new relationship, while still keeping my head on straight (mostly).

tortoise, not hare

2011-10-03T20:05:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about bunnies.

First, a wise friend suggested I have to be like a bunny when looking for a date (mate). I need to sniff them and listen to them and use my instincts.

I've been doing that and now I'm spending time with "the best" person.

Three months ago I would have predicted I'd still be doing the bunny - moving quickly, but with a slightly panicked edge. I never would've guessed I'd have the patience to see my date only once or twice a week. I never would've thought I'd be okay with not being monogamous. I would've assumed a big "relationship" talk by now.

But it turns out taking things *super slow* and experiencing what is *actually happening* instead of naming everything and living in the future is really working.

I'm doing my turtle impression, which is way more me anyway.

i always wonder this

2011-10-03T20:03:00.000-07:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/snapabooty/6193780303/

(what on earth did i think about all the time before you?)

winning

2011-09-05T20:08:00.001-07:00

I went on an online date with the dude who invented The Game. Not just any player, he literally wrote a book about hitting on & scoring with women. As soon as we exchanged names and shook hands he looked me up and down, said, "You're totally do-able!" and gave me a high five. From there it just got crazier, more fun and, ultimately, creepier.

I'm proud to say he did *not* score with me.

He has continued to contact me. I will probably never see him again, but I have responded to his texts because I want to get as much information as possible about this rare, repugnant specimen.

Maybe I'll end up writing my own book.

gone dating

2011-07-22T09:04:00.000-07:00

I have been surprised that men want to pay for the date. Granted, it's just ice cream or a few drinks but so far none of them have let me pitch in. I appreciate it. But it seems so old-fashioned. And I certainly don't expect it.

If we met online, I don't want to talk about it. We both know we're strangers having an awkward conversation because, for whatever reason, we can't meet people in the real world. We don't need to get all explicit about it. Also, boring!

On 2 of the 3 recent dates marriage and weddings came up. Not for the two of us, just general talk. Of course I don't mind; I have *a lot* of thoughts on the topics. But it did seem somewhat inappropriate considering we just met.

huffington post

2011-04-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

...because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self -- you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:

Love.

RT @mindykaling

2011-02-16T07:07:00.000-08:00

Platonic Close Straight Male Friend should be a horror movie for single women #death #dontdoit

He follows me on Twitter but I *had* to put this somewhere.

dangerous advice

2011-01-03T21:25:00.000-08:00

Cancers are not docile, passive, dependent creatures who wait around to be spoon fed their porridge like infants and old people. You have probably prided yourself in fighting for your autonomy and been happy to earn it. Now, however, it’s not about you or your wish to be free. In fact, it’s the opposite. Now you need someone in your life, even if that someone is nearly impossible to reach half the time.

Especially if that someone is nearly impossible to reach.

- Michael Lutin

bob dylan

2010-12-28T22:15:00.001-08:00

Lily was a princess she was fair-skinned and precious as a child
She did whatever she had to do she had that certain flash every time she smiled
She'd come away from a broken home had lots of strange affairs
With men in every walk of life which took her everywhere
But she's never met anyone quite like the Jack of Hearts.

classic

2010-12-23T09:20:00.000-08:00

A friend recently divorced her Czech husband who used to flirt inappropriately with me. At one point he said, "You should date a European man because they look at the face first...and then the body."

I have a seldom-checked profile on a dating website. There are many options for Body Type, including I'd Rather Not Say and Used Up.

I just got this message from a Hungarian dude, "I don't mind your 'little extra.' Your face is pretty."

Maybe I should have chosen Curvy?

droppin' knowledge

2010-12-18T00:25:00.000-08:00

"...That is how you get closer to somebody – allowing them to see who you are and not freaking out and running the other way when you see who THEY are.

...when you finish all the superficial running around, the people who mean more to you are still there, either across the table, beside you in bed or thousands of miles away but still right there in your brain and under your skin.

...Even if it seems like a happy, little lark on the surface, it isn’t. You’ll either struggle with someone when they’re there and miss them when they are gone. The whole thing is designed to make you sensitive to the needs and realities of others and, ouch, to show you exactly what you are attracted to.

Because that’s the secret. The ones you select are the ones you want and the ones you want possess something you deeply yearn to be united with..."

- Michael Lutin

humble pie

2010-11-07T16:08:00.000-08:00

I went on a few dates with a high quality man. But I wasn't really feelin' it.

I thought it was one of those "he's just too nice things." But Nomi wisely pointed out "it's [actually] one of those *chemistry* things."

Regardless, in an effort to end it I acted like a child and was brutally honest. Being high quality, the man pointed out there was too much emphasis on the BRUTAL.

Now I am penitent.

But I'm not regretful, since my bestie pointed out "...it's a gift for you to grow from. i think [he] gave you something invaluable."

If I meet another high quality man I really hope I conduct myself differently.

don, meet bill w.

2010-09-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

The other night I watched Mad Men for the first time in months. It was awesome and everything. But I decided I can never watch it again because Don Draper's alcoholism is very upsetting to me.

It's like when I had to stop reading celebrity gossip because I was so worried about Lindsay Lohan.

When I want to deal with my issues, I have plenty of addicts in my real life to work it out with.

exaggeration

2010-08-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I'll be single f-o-r-e-v-e-r.

The bad news is no one will get to enjoy me as a partner.*

The good news is I will be able to be there for my friends in ways the marrieds and parents can't.**

* I would be a great partner.
** I can take care of your house / pets, watch your kids, talk on the phone at all hours, take you out and get you drunk, etc...

couldn't have said it better myself

2010-08-23T17:33:00.000-07:00

molls entertains me via her tumblr, twitter (@molls) and podcast.

she's years younger than me but, clearly, much wiser:

"figured something out

Here’s something obvious:

If you’re ever talking to a male or a female and they start up on some, “I don’t know why you like me, you’re too attractive/cool/funny/whatever for me” shit, they mean it and they’re doing you a favor.

If someone tells you they’re a loser, they’re not lying. Only a loser would feel the need to point out that they’re a loser. No one acts humble when they want to win.

So if someone says that to you, disassociate yourself from them yesterday. No time to build with small people."

then there's this

2010-08-15T22:03:00.001-07:00

The good news is, I, my best friend and my roommate meet most of these criteria. So, boyfriend, schmoyfriend.

actually, this might be my dream man

2010-08-15T21:42:00.001-07:00

a fail to kiss is a fail to cope

2010-08-15T21:19:00.000-07:00

If you date people who don't totally have their sh*t together it might make you feel good about yourself. But, eventually, it will make them feel bad about themselves. And then they won't want to date you.

This is especially annoying because having your sh*t together is supposed to make you more dateable.

delusions

2010-08-10T17:39:00.001-07:00

In the last week I have come up with every excuse outlined in that stupid book, He's Just Not That Into You. I haven't read it but I still know it's the story of my current life:

He's afraid of how much he likes me.
He's taking time to get himself together so he can be "worthy" of me.
His phone is dead. He's out of cellphone range.
He's really busy.
He's gonna surprise me.

WHATEVER.

He's just not that into me. And, truth be told, until he stopped communicating with me, I wasn't that into him either.

On the other hand, I *am* that into these dudes. They are helping me keep what's left of my sanity.

the truth hurts

2010-08-09T14:01:00.000-07:00

RT @molls

2010-08-04T20:08:00.000-07:00

I just realized that for the price of a wedding, you can have Aerosmith come play a private show for you. So, ill be seeing you, Joe Perry.

flattery

2010-08-02T21:57:00.000-07:00

Compare me to this bombshell

and send me texts that say, "...you KNOW that i think YOU are a STONE FOX!" and just see where it gets you.

blast from the past

2010-08-02T21:53:00.000-07:00

I just watched some of "Boomerang" for the first time since 1992. I still like the part where Halle Berry says, "Love should've brought your ass home last night" and pokes Eddie Murphy in the forehead.

yeah, duh.

2010-08-02T21:27:00.000-07:00

maybe you're just plain dumb

2010-08-02T21:12:00.001-07:00

"Why Don't You Love Me" - Beyoncé from Beyoncé on Vimeo.

turns out this is my dream man

2010-08-02T21:04:00.000-07:00

I honestly don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

birthday wishes do come true

2010-08-02T20:55:00.000-07:00

It only fits on my left, ring finger. Maybe I should just go ahead and marry the one who gave it to me.

self-fulfilling prophecy

2010-08-02T20:37:00.000-07:00

When you say, "Don't like me, okay? 'Cause I'll just make you sad."

You just did.

good advice

2010-07-28T18:29:00.001-07:00

...it's tough to remember that the first and foremost best criteria for a lovely boy is that he truly appreciates you and gushes all over your noggin'. True, it's nice if there's a bit of stability there, but the one that's serious about you is really the smart one. ; )

are you a drunk drummer born under an air sign?

2010-07-24T01:22:00.000-07:00

if yes --> i guess we're supposed to have an affair.
if no --> i guess you have no interest in me.

just received this text

2010-07-21T19:01:00.001-07:00

I really l0ve u 2day. really. real l0ve. 4 real. really really. al0t. really.

duckie dale

2010-07-21T18:58:00.000-07:00

You wanna know my thing?

If I really have it solid for a girl, I'll ride by her house on my bike.

I'll do it, like, a hundred times in a day.

It's really... it's intense.

these united states, honor amongst thieves

2010-07-21T18:55:00.000-07:00

She had [a] thing for one she dubbed too cute to make leave.

the gestalt, since 1997

2010-05-16T20:06:00.001-07:00

I can happily live without you. One day we'll be friends. One day I'll be in love with someone else.

At the same time, I still love you and think a part of me always will.

2010-05-05T22:07:00.000-07:00

sometimes...

2010-05-05T22:04:00.000-07:00

your ex posts pictures of his new girl and it kinda hurts your feelings. So you post a status update saying "Sometimes it's hard not to take *it* personally" but you keep *it* vague. And then he responds, not to your true meaning but to the fact of the statement. And it's ironic.

not for me

2010-05-05T22:03:00.001-07:00

The less we say about it the better. Make it up as we go along. Feet on the ground. Head in the sky. It's okay, I know nothing's wrong...

woman's intuition

2010-04-26T12:43:00.000-07:00

It crossed my mind you were dating her. But I knew it for a fact when you described how her dog would run out to the garden and "freak out" in the rosemary and then come back inside smelling of it.

the outsiders

2010-04-07T22:11:00.001-07:00

Tough, loud girls who wore too much eye makeup and giggled and swore too much.

VS

The girls who were bright-eyed and had their dresses a decent length and acted as if they'd like to spit on us if given a chance.

I always assumed I was a Soc, but maybe I've been a Greaser all along.

kell on earth

2010-04-07T22:10:00.000-07:00

"...and he was just like that perfect kid that you want if you're a power girl to roll with you. cause they can just hang out and go to your events and they look cute and they just want to fuck and have a good time..."

when oh when will i be a "power girl" with my very own "kid"?

jane austen

2010-04-07T22:04:00.000-07:00

A doubt of her regard, supposing him to feel it, need not give him more than inquietude. It would not be likely to produce that dejection of mind which frequently attended him...Nay, the longer they were together, the more doubtful seemed the nature of his regard; and sometimes, for a few painful minutes, she believed it to be no more than friendship.

I used to be a Marianne, now I'm practicing being an Elinor. So far, so good.

it's not me, it's you

2010-04-07T22:00:00.000-07:00

'nuff said.

just about sums it up

2010-04-07T11:05:00.000-07:00

#snugglingonthecouchroommatesinlovemakemerealizehowlonelythelastfiveyearshavebeennomatterhowmuchmarriedhomiessaytheyrejealousofmylife

tweeted by an ex-lover

Two heads are probably better than one

2010-03-01T22:55:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been complaining about being single.

My coupled friends try to be encouraging by pointing out that relationships aren't all they're cracked up to be.

I get that.

But my point is, how many of them would give up their less-than-perfect partners to join me in the world of the single?

for all we know

2010-01-31T21:04:00.000-08:00

a kiss that is never tasted
forever and ever is wasted

dooce

2010-01-07T15:33:00.001-08:00

I read Dooce because Heather's writing moves me even though her life and mine have nothing in common.

This quote from her husband, Jon, makes me want to cry, "Is now a good time to tell you that everything is going to be okay? Or should I just be quiet?"

I hope I can be a partner like that one day.

from the desk of dr. oz

2010-01-02T13:26:00.000-08:00

This advice refers to people currently in a relationship, "...a loving, healthy sexual relationship is an indicator that things are great all over, and a lack of one means the opposite."

But I can't help but wonder, for the rest of us, is our single-hood also some kind of indicator?

(sorry for the Carrie Bradshaw impression.)

memories of a vegas wedding

2009-12-23T10:52:00.000-08:00

Several years ago some friends got married in Vegas by an Elvis impersonator. I had a kitscherrific time, but wedding-wise a few things went wrong:

1. At those Las Vegas wedding chapels they schedule ceremonies back to back. If someone, like the bride's sister, is running late they might miss the wedding all together.

2. Having the dinner at a casino's buffet might be funny, but eating in a generic banquet room with no decoration, no music and terrible lighting is depressing.

3. The best man and maid of honor need to understand that they have to get up and make a toast. It doesn't matter if they're shy or can't think of what to say; the night is not about them. If they don't toast, no one else will and then the happy couple won't get to hear how much everyone loves them.

just airbrush it

2009-12-21T18:01:00.000-08:00

Linda & Sara are sisters. Linda married Dave. They appeared in many professional portraits taken at Sara's wedding. Before the portraits were printed and delivered, Linda & Dave got divorced. So, Sara and her new husband, Chuck, had Dave "photoshopped" out of all the portraits. It's as if Dave was never a part of the family. Except, Linda told me, there is one portrait in which the photographer forgot to delete Dave's feet.

Sometimes realism is terribly unrealistic.

2009-12-07T15:55:00.000-08:00

thanks neko

2009-12-01T23:27:00.000-08:00

star witness

Hey pretty baby get high with me,
We can go to my sisters if we say we'll watch the baby
The look on your face yanks my neck on the chain
And I would do anything
To see you again

My second favorite lyric is actually more appropriate for this forum, huh?

I leave the party at 3am, alone, thank God
With a Valium from the bride
It's the devil I love
It's as funny as real love
And it's as real as true love

sprung

2009-12-01T23:22:00.000-08:00

adj 1 : sexually aroused - syn hot and bothered, inflamed 2 : infatuated to the point of distraction - syn bewitched, captivated

-slang flashcards

hip(pie) hop-inspired

2009-10-13T06:44:00.001-07:00

Last weekend, I went to the wedding of an old friend. He was the first person to be friendly to me at a new school in the 8th grade. In high school he shunned drugs & alcohol for skateboarding & playing acid jazz. I once offered to carry his baby (long story, not exactly what it seems.) Now, among other things, he's a sweet, stoned dj influenced in equal parts by Wu Tang Clan and Bob Marley. His wedding was beautiful and drunk and I danced my feet off. But I can't help but come up with a few "always a bridesmaid" tips:

1. If you want to acknowledge "The Four Directions" in your ceremony, make sure the officiant knows where to turn to face each one.
1a. I prefer a ceremony where the bride and groom have not seen each other since getting gussied up. My sentimental side likes to see the groom's face when he sees his bride looking so gorgeous.

2. An onion stuffed with rice is not a sufficient vegetarian substitute for chicken.

3. If possible, do the toasts while everyone is sitting at dinner. Once they're standing in the reception hall they're too drunk and antsy to dance to listen.

4. A big fireplace with a pile of pillows for the kids to fall asleep on is the cutest.

frank o'hara

2009-08-18T10:23:00.001-07:00

Having a Coke with You

is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
it is hard to believe when I’m with you that there can be anything as still
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
in the warm New York 4 o’clock light we are drifting back and forth
between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles

and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them
I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it’s in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven’t gone to yet so we can go together the first time
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn’t pick the rider as carefully
as the horse
it seems they were all cheated of some marvellous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I’m telling you about it

H.H. Munro

2009-08-17T08:13:00.002-07:00

...or perhaps she was drawn to his unusual amber eyes and he was taken in by her inadvertently sexy, self-conscious girlishness. maybe he took great pleasure in shocking her, in playing to her secret more sophisticated desires. and she was secretly amused and gratified that he took it as a given that she was highly competent and did not have to prove herself to him in any way whatsoever.

edith wharton

2009-08-17T08:13:00.001-07:00

her words pelted me like hail:

"he just took what he wanted; sifted and sorted you to suit his taste; burnt out the gold and left a heap of cinders. and you let him. you let yourself be cut in bits...and used or discarded. while all the while every drop of blood in you belonged to him. but he's shylock and you have bled to death of the pound of flesh he has cut out of you..."

she thinks the pound of flesh you took was a little too near the heart...she expressed an unwillingness to be taken "with reservations." she thinks you would have loved her better if you had loved someone else first.

why am i here?

2009-08-14T16:42:00.000-07:00

I started this blog, in part, to offer wedding advice from the perspective of a "might as well be professional" bridesmaid. Obviously, I have strayed from that path. So, in an effort to regain some focus, here are some quick tips:

1) If you want to serve Jack & Cokes and margaritas, make sure you feed your guests a full meal. Finger foods and crudites are not going to cut it. By the end of the night you'll have crying, falling down, swearing and fighting.

2) If you have your wedding on a Monday, you will probably save a lot of money but you'll lose some guests.

3) If you want to have a candle lighting "ceremony" remember that it can be windy outside.

important reminder

2009-08-14T16:38:00.001-07:00

(937): Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls. (sic)

Thanks textsfromlastnight.com

Ernest Hemingway & F. Scott Fitzgerald

2009-06-25T07:55:00.000-07:00

i went out the door and suddenly i felt lonely and empty. i had treated seeing catherine very lightly, i had gotten somewhat drunk and had nearly forgotten to come but when i could not see her there i was feeling lonely and hollow.

"You said a bad driver was only safe until she met another bad driver? Well, I met another bad driver, didn't I? I mean it was careless of me to make such a wrong guess. I thought you were rather an honest, straightforward person. I thought it was your secret pride."

"I'm thirty," I said. "I'm five years too old to lie to myself and call it honor."

She didn't answer. Angry, and half in love with her, and tremendously sorry, I turned away.

hey dudes

2009-05-16T02:48:00.000-07:00

Stop touching ladies you don't know yet in the waist / tummy / hip area. It's too intimate. In recent poll, we'd rather have our ass or tits touched than that area. Thanks.

hey f*ckers, read: dudes

2009-05-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

Stop hitting women.

tough love

2009-03-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

There is a new show on MTV (or VH1 or some place) where a male matchmaker gives dating advice to a group of ladies looking to get married. Despite my distaste for reality shows, I'll probably get hooked on this one. It just speaks to my ongoing curiosity about dating, relationships and, ultimately, love. I have been willing to try almost anything in a quest for connection and to add to my research - "traditonal dates", blind dates, long term texting relationships with someone I've never met, online dating, one night stands, etc... And I'm always open to feedback (even though it stings sometimes) on my technique, my persona.

I recently went on a first drink with a guy I met online. He was perfectly fine: polite, normal, attractive, but there was no spark. I don't think he was especially taken with me either, since he took several days to send me this beyond-vague follow up, "had a mellow time the other night. nice!" To be fair, I didn't send him any follow up; at least he's trying. So, here I am trying to decide what, if anything, will be my next move and it hits me -

There should be a "tough love" dating site (maybe there already is??) where you are expected to send feedback to the other members. For example, that email you sent about the time you almost slept with a high class call girl weirded me out. Or, when you told me you don't read much it turned me off. And they could tell me, I felt like you were interrogating me instead of showing real interest. Or, you don't do your pics justice. That way, we could all improve our "game" while meeting new people, thus increasing our chances of more dates, a relationship and, maybe, love.

another

2009-03-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

225 days under grass
and you know more than I.

they have long taken your blood,
you are a dry stick in a basket.

is this how it works?

in this room
the hours of love
still make shadows.

when you left
you took almost
everything.

I kneel in the nights
before tigers
that will not let me be.

what you were
will not happen again.

the tigers have found me
and I do not care.

-Bukowski

the most romantic

2009-03-10T21:34:00.000-07:00

Someone posted the first line of this as their Facebook status after an awkward goodbye with me. I would like to think it was dedicated to me. Either way, it's a beautiful poem by a poet I probably need to know more about, Julio Cortazar.

The keepsake you've bequeathed me, a face among mirrors and dirty saucers,
contributes to my suspicion that the universe isn't perfect.
The awkwardness of our last hour together
argues the certainty that the sun is poisoned,
that inside every grain of wheat a deadly weapon trembles -
when all should have come clear, in a silence
where nothing would have been left unsaid.
But that's not how it was, and we parted
the way we deserved to, really, in a filthy cafe,
surrounded by ghosts and cigarette butts,
mixing our pitiful kisses with night's undertow.

keeping the romance alive

2009-02-04T17:10:00.000-08:00

What I learned in the last few days: It's not that true love and commitment with no cheating and lots of hard work doesn't exist at all. It's that it doesn't exist for dysfunctional people who aren't dealing with their issues.

this kills me

2008-12-21T01:16:00.000-08:00

"No One's Gonna Love You."

how not to get a date

2008-10-20T12:12:00.000-07:00

ya so what . . .

i thrive on e - jection. and enjoy beating my head against a virtual wall.

your indifference only makes you more interesting . . .

stop being such a pain in the ass and send me your email address and let me send a pic to you?

8^P

tripp

public, private

2008-09-18T10:07:00.001-07:00

I'm trying something I never thought I would - I joined a dating website. I have only been a member for a few days so my thoughts are still coming together. But initial impressions are:

1) I woke up at 4am in a panic thinking that a STRANGER could be looking at my profile. This is due to my reserved nature and, no doubt, to my experience with the woman who was (is?) convinced we were meant to love one another despite all evidence to the contrary. The idea of inviting more of that kind of attention is scary.

2) I don't like getting messages from people who clearly have not bothered to read my profile. Is it that hard to write "I like Stevie Wonder too" before "Hi. Drinks sometime? - F?" Come on! At that rate I could say I have no job and wear puppy fur coats and I'd probably make a match as long as my photo was attractive enough.

3) I get giddy and sweaty palms looking at all the potential dates and thinking one of them might be worth meeting and, of course, kissing. I imagine all the fun stuff of a new crush and that makes it worth staying around for a little while.

losing my religion

2008-08-26T15:11:00.000-07:00

I believe in love; I've felt it. I believe in commitment; I've made one. I believe in forgiveness; I've done it. I believe in getting through the hard times and coming out the other side a little closer and a little stronger; I've done that too.

I know none of this is easy. I get that true love takes blood, sweat & tears. And I understand that sometimes giving up seems like the easiest choice. But I am still getting tired of watching relationships all around me fall apart. It's shaking my faith.

Okay, that's over-dramatizing things. But I have been watching too many / too much: break-ups, cheating, lying, betrayal, making out with your husband's best friend, making out with your own best friend, divorce, sneaking around, yelling, watching your partner suffer and doing nothing to help, blaming, broken promises, violence, selfishness, defiance, digging in your heels just to be stubborn, flirting with younger, cuter (?) people. And it's straight up depressing.

I have been single for three years. Sometimes I feel lonely. Sometimes I wonder if anyone will ever love me again. Sometimes I revel in my singlehood. Right now I'm just glad I'm not in a relationship so I don't have to go through it breaking apart. My tender heart can barely take other people's endings. Imagine if it were mine?

introductory paragraph

2008-08-17T18:41:00.000-07:00

My oldest friend asked me to contribute to her blog (eastsidebride.blogspot.com) as I have been in numerous weddings and she thought I had some helpful wedding planning advice for brides all over. After publishing all of two posts I decided it was time to take the reins and create my very own blog.

Most of this will have nothing to do with being a bridesmaid. It will bounce all over from things I love, to celebrity gossip, to rants. There might even be some talk about my feelings.

This is an experiment. I am the kind of person that wants to talk, talk, talk things over and to be listened to and to make sure I am understood and to really get my point across. I think all that might be tiring to my friends, coworkers and roommates. So I'm going to try and lay things out here to see if it satisfies my need to Process.