e. edward grey OR patrick bateman

On OKCupid I list Secretary as a favorite movie. This is the cleverest, sexiest response to that fact I've received, "I'm sad to report that you and I are only an 84% match. I'll print out a single copy of your profile. Then, I'll take out my red felt-tipped pen and draw a slow circle around all the items I find unsuitable. Then I need you to re-do it."

Dating vs. dating

(from hellogiggles.com)

you don't have to f*ck people over to survive

Being the tortoise means you have plenty of time to really notice and appreciate things, things you never saw before, things you never thought before.

First, I realized that the warm feeling I get from "the best" person is partially because of him and partially because of the person I am around him. I like the way I act, I like the things I'm learning. So, even though I don't want this relationship to end anytime soon I am not panicked trying to hold on too tight. One day we might end up just being friends, but I will still get to be this person; maybe even a *better* person.

Second, he has not shied away from flirtation, romance, pillow talk, future plans even though he only wants to get -this- serious. I think most men would avoid these sweet somethings in order to "not give the wrong idea." And that's probably for the best as most women wouldn't be able to keep the two things separate; he'd text sweetly out of blue and they'd think, "He actually does want to be my boyfriend." But because of item First, I get to enjoy those delights of a new relationship, while still keeping my head on straight (mostly).

tortoise, not hare

I've been thinking about bunnies.

First, a wise friend suggested I have to be like a bunny when looking for a date (mate). I need to sniff them and listen to them and use my instincts.

I've been doing that and now I'm spending time with "the best" person.

Three months ago I would have predicted I'd still be doing the bunny - moving quickly, but with a slightly panicked edge. I never would've guessed I'd have the patience to see my date only once or twice a week. I never would've thought I'd be okay with not being monogamous. I would've assumed a big "relationship" talk by now.

But it turns out taking things *super slow* and experiencing what is *actually happening* instead of naming everything and living in the future is really working.

I'm doing my turtle impression, which is way more me anyway.

i always wonder this

http://www.flickr.com/photos/snapabooty/6193780303/

(what on earth did i think about all the time before you?)

winning

I went on an online date with the dude who invented The Game. Not just any player, he literally wrote a book about hitting on & scoring with women. As soon as we exchanged names and shook hands he looked me up and down, said, "You're totally do-able!" and gave me a high five. From there it just got crazier, more fun and, ultimately, creepier.

I'm proud to say he did *not* score with me.

He has continued to contact me. I will probably never see him again, but I have responded to his texts because I want to get as much information as possible about this rare, repugnant specimen.

Maybe I'll end up writing my own book.

gone dating

I have been surprised that men want to pay for the date. Granted, it's just ice cream or a few drinks but so far none of them have let me pitch in. I appreciate it. But it seems so old-fashioned. And I certainly don't expect it.

If we met online, I don't want to talk about it. We both know we're strangers having an awkward conversation because, for whatever reason, we can't meet people in the real world. We don't need to get all explicit about it. Also, boring!

On 2 of the 3 recent dates marriage and weddings came up. Not for the two of us, just general talk. Of course I don't mind; I have *a lot* of thoughts on the topics. But it did seem somewhat inappropriate considering we just met.

huffington post

...because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self -- you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:

Love.

RT @mindykaling

Platonic Close Straight Male Friend should be a horror movie for single women #death #dontdoit

He follows me on Twitter but I *had* to put this somewhere.

dangerous advice

Cancers are not docile, passive, dependent creatures who wait around to be spoon fed their porridge like infants and old people. You have probably prided yourself in fighting for your autonomy and been happy to earn it. Now, however, it’s not about you or your wish to be free. In fact, it’s the opposite. Now you need someone in your life, even if that someone is nearly impossible to reach half the time.

Especially if that someone is nearly impossible to reach.

- Michael Lutin

bob dylan

Lily was a princess she was fair-skinned and precious as a child
She did whatever she had to do she had that certain flash every time she smiled
She'd come away from a broken home had lots of strange affairs
With men in every walk of life which took her everywhere
But she's never met anyone quite like the Jack of Hearts.

classic

A friend recently divorced her Czech husband who used to flirt inappropriately with me. At one point he said, "You should date a European man because they look at the face first...and then the body."

I have a seldom-checked profile on a dating website. There are many options for Body Type, including I'd Rather Not Say and Used Up.

I just got this message from a Hungarian dude, "I don't mind your 'little extra.' Your face is pretty."

Maybe I should have chosen Curvy?

droppin' knowledge

"...That is how you get closer to somebody – allowing them to see who you are and not freaking out and running the other way when you see who THEY are.

...when you finish all the superficial running around, the people who mean more to you are still there, either across the table, beside you in bed or thousands of miles away but still right there in your brain and under your skin.

...Even if it seems like a happy, little lark on the surface, it isn’t. You’ll either struggle with someone when they’re there and miss them when they are gone. The whole thing is designed to make you sensitive to the needs and realities of others and, ouch, to show you exactly what you are attracted to.

Because that’s the secret. The ones you select are the ones you want and the ones you want possess something you deeply yearn to be united with..."

- Michael Lutin

humble pie

I went on a few dates with a high quality man. But I wasn't really feelin' it.

I thought it was one of those "he's just too nice things." But Nomi wisely pointed out "it's [actually] one of those *chemistry* things."

Regardless, in an effort to end it I acted like a child and was brutally honest. Being high quality, the man pointed out there was too much emphasis on the BRUTAL.

Now I am penitent.

But I'm not regretful, since my bestie pointed out "...it's a gift for you to grow from. i think [he] gave you something invaluable."

If I meet another high quality man I really hope I conduct myself differently.

don, meet bill w.

The other night I watched Mad Men for the first time in months. It was awesome and everything. But I decided I can never watch it again because Don Draper's alcoholism is very upsetting to me.

It's like when I had to stop reading celebrity gossip because I was so worried about Lindsay Lohan.

When I want to deal with my issues, I have plenty of addicts in my real life to work it out with.

exaggeration

Sometimes I feel like I'll be single f-o-r-e-v-e-r.

The bad news is no one will get to enjoy me as a partner.*

The good news is I will be able to be there for my friends in ways the marrieds and parents can't.**








* I would be a great partner.
** I can take care of your house / pets, watch your kids, talk on the phone at all hours, take you out and get you drunk, etc...

couldn't have said it better myself

molls entertains me via her tumblr, twitter (@molls) and podcast.

she's years younger than me but, clearly, much wiser:

"figured something out

Here’s something obvious:

If you’re ever talking to a male or a female and they start up on some, “I don’t know why you like me, you’re too attractive/cool/funny/whatever for me” shit, they mean it and they’re doing you a favor.

If someone tells you they’re a loser, they’re not lying. Only a loser would feel the need to point out that they’re a loser. No one acts humble when they want to win.

So if someone says that to you, disassociate yourself from them yesterday. No time to build with small people."

then there's this

The good news is, I, my best friend and my roommate meet most of these criteria. So, boyfriend, schmoyfriend.

actually, this might be my dream man

a fail to kiss is a fail to cope

If you date people who don't totally have their sh*t together it might make you feel good about yourself. But, eventually, it will make them feel bad about themselves. And then they won't want to date you.

This is especially annoying because having your sh*t together is supposed to make you more dateable.