Wednesday, December 23, 2009

memories of a vegas wedding

Several years ago some friends got married in Vegas by an Elvis impersonator. I had a kitscherrific time, but wedding-wise a few things went wrong:

1. At those Las Vegas wedding chapels they schedule ceremonies back to back. If someone, like the bride's sister, is running late they might miss the wedding all together.

2. Having the dinner at a casino's buffet might be funny, but eating in a generic banquet room with no decoration, no music and terrible lighting is depressing.

3. The best man and maid of honor need to understand that they have to get up and make a toast. It doesn't matter if they're shy or can't think of what to say; the night is not about them. If they don't toast, no one else will and then the happy couple won't get to hear how much everyone loves them.

Monday, December 21, 2009

just airbrush it

Linda & Sara are sisters. Linda married Dave. They appeared in many professional portraits taken at Sara's wedding. Before the portraits were printed and delivered, Linda & Dave got divorced. So, Sara and her new husband, Chuck, had Dave "photoshopped" out of all the portraits. It's as if Dave was never a part of the family. Except, Linda told me, there is one portrait in which the photographer forgot to delete Dave's feet.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

thanks neko

star witness

Hey pretty baby get high with me,
We can go to my sisters if we say we'll watch the baby
The look on your face yanks my neck on the chain
And I would do anything
To see you again

My second favorite lyric is actually more appropriate for this forum, huh?

I leave the party at 3am, alone, thank God
With a Valium from the bride
It's the devil I love
It's as funny as real love
And it's as real as true love


adj 1 : sexually aroused - syn hot and bothered, inflamed 2 : infatuated to the point of distraction - syn bewitched, captivated

-slang flashcards