Monday, October 20, 2008

how not to get a date

ya so what . . .

i thrive on e - jection. and enjoy beating my head against a virtual wall.

your indifference only makes you more interesting . . .

stop being such a pain in the ass and send me your email address and let me send a pic to you?



Thursday, September 18, 2008

public, private

I'm trying something I never thought I would - I joined a dating website. I have only been a member for a few days so my thoughts are still coming together. But initial impressions are:

1) I woke up at 4am in a panic thinking that a STRANGER could be looking at my profile. This is due to my reserved nature and, no doubt, to my experience with the woman who was (is?) convinced we were meant to love one another despite all evidence to the contrary. The idea of inviting more of that kind of attention is scary.

2) I don't like getting messages from people who clearly have not bothered to read my profile. Is it that hard to write "I like Stevie Wonder too" before "Hi. Drinks sometime? - F?" Come on! At that rate I could say I have no job and wear puppy fur coats and I'd probably make a match as long as my photo was attractive enough.

3) I get giddy and sweaty palms looking at all the potential dates and thinking one of them might be worth meeting and, of course, kissing. I imagine all the fun stuff of a new crush and that makes it worth staying around for a little while.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

losing my religion

I believe in love; I've felt it. I believe in commitment; I've made one. I believe in forgiveness; I've done it. I believe in getting through the hard times and coming out the other side a little closer and a little stronger; I've done that too.

I know none of this is easy. I get that true love takes blood, sweat & tears. And I understand that sometimes giving up seems like the easiest choice. But I am still getting tired of watching relationships all around me fall apart. It's shaking my faith.

Okay, that's over-dramatizing things. But I have been watching too many / too much: break-ups, cheating, lying, betrayal, making out with your husband's best friend, making out with your own best friend, divorce, sneaking around, yelling, watching your partner suffer and doing nothing to help, blaming, broken promises, violence, selfishness, defiance, digging in your heels just to be stubborn, flirting with younger, cuter (?) people. And it's straight up depressing.

I have been single for three years. Sometimes I feel lonely. Sometimes I wonder if anyone will ever love me again. Sometimes I revel in my singlehood. Right now I'm just glad I'm not in a relationship so I don't have to go through it breaking apart. My tender heart can barely take other people's endings. Imagine if it were mine?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

introductory paragraph

My oldest friend asked me to contribute to her blog ( as I have been in numerous weddings and she thought I had some helpful wedding planning advice for brides all over. After publishing all of two posts I decided it was time to take the reins and create my very own blog.

Most of this will have nothing to do with being a bridesmaid. It will bounce all over from things I love, to celebrity gossip, to rants. There might even be some talk about my feelings.

This is an experiment. I am the kind of person that wants to talk, talk, talk things over and to be listened to and to make sure I am understood and to really get my point across. I think all that might be tiring to my friends, coworkers and roommates. So I'm going to try and lay things out here to see if it satisfies my need to Process.