tough love

There is a new show on MTV (or VH1 or some place) where a male matchmaker gives dating advice to a group of ladies looking to get married. Despite my distaste for reality shows, I'll probably get hooked on this one. It just speaks to my ongoing curiosity about dating, relationships and, ultimately, love. I have been willing to try almost anything in a quest for connection and to add to my research - "traditonal dates", blind dates, long term texting relationships with someone I've never met, online dating, one night stands, etc... And I'm always open to feedback (even though it stings sometimes) on my technique, my persona.

I recently went on a first drink with a guy I met online. He was perfectly fine: polite, normal, attractive, but there was no spark. I don't think he was especially taken with me either, since he took several days to send me this beyond-vague follow up, "had a mellow time the other night. nice!" To be fair, I didn't send him any follow up; at least he's trying. So, here I am trying to decide what, if anything, will be my next move and it hits me -

There should be a "tough love" dating site (maybe there already is??) where you are expected to send feedback to the other members. For example, that email you sent about the time you almost slept with a high class call girl weirded me out. Or, when you told me you don't read much it turned me off. And they could tell me, I felt like you were interrogating me instead of showing real interest. Or, you don't do your pics justice. That way, we could all improve our "game" while meeting new people, thus increasing our chances of more dates, a relationship and, maybe, love.

another

225 days under grass
and you know more than I.

they have long taken your blood,
you are a dry stick in a basket.

is this how it works?

in this room
the hours of love
still make shadows.

when you left
you took almost
everything.

I kneel in the nights
before tigers
that will not let me be.

what you were
will not happen again.

the tigers have found me
and I do not care.

-Bukowski

the most romantic

Someone posted the first line of this as their Facebook status after an awkward goodbye with me. I would like to think it was dedicated to me. Either way, it's a beautiful poem by a poet I probably need to know more about, Julio Cortazar.

The keepsake you've bequeathed me, a face among mirrors and dirty saucers,
contributes to my suspicion that the universe isn't perfect.
The awkwardness of our last hour together
argues the certainty that the sun is poisoned,
that inside every grain of wheat a deadly weapon trembles -
when all should have come clear, in a silence
where nothing would have been left unsaid.
But that's not how it was, and we parted
the way we deserved to, really, in a filthy cafe,
surrounded by ghosts and cigarette butts,
mixing our pitiful kisses with night's undertow.