bob dylan

Lily was a princess she was fair-skinned and precious as a child
She did whatever she had to do she had that certain flash every time she smiled
She'd come away from a broken home had lots of strange affairs
With men in every walk of life which took her everywhere
But she's never met anyone quite like the Jack of Hearts.

classic

A friend recently divorced her Czech husband who used to flirt inappropriately with me. At one point he said, "You should date a European man because they look at the face first...and then the body."

I have a seldom-checked profile on a dating website. There are many options for Body Type, including I'd Rather Not Say and Used Up.

I just got this message from a Hungarian dude, "I don't mind your 'little extra.' Your face is pretty."

Maybe I should have chosen Curvy?

droppin' knowledge

"...That is how you get closer to somebody – allowing them to see who you are and not freaking out and running the other way when you see who THEY are.

...when you finish all the superficial running around, the people who mean more to you are still there, either across the table, beside you in bed or thousands of miles away but still right there in your brain and under your skin.

...Even if it seems like a happy, little lark on the surface, it isn’t. You’ll either struggle with someone when they’re there and miss them when they are gone. The whole thing is designed to make you sensitive to the needs and realities of others and, ouch, to show you exactly what you are attracted to.

Because that’s the secret. The ones you select are the ones you want and the ones you want possess something you deeply yearn to be united with..."

- Michael Lutin

humble pie

I went on a few dates with a high quality man. But I wasn't really feelin' it.

I thought it was one of those "he's just too nice things." But Nomi wisely pointed out "it's [actually] one of those *chemistry* things."

Regardless, in an effort to end it I acted like a child and was brutally honest. Being high quality, the man pointed out there was too much emphasis on the BRUTAL.

Now I am penitent.

But I'm not regretful, since my bestie pointed out "...it's a gift for you to grow from. i think [he] gave you something invaluable."

If I meet another high quality man I really hope I conduct myself differently.

don, meet bill w.

The other night I watched Mad Men for the first time in months. It was awesome and everything. But I decided I can never watch it again because Don Draper's alcoholism is very upsetting to me.

It's like when I had to stop reading celebrity gossip because I was so worried about Lindsay Lohan.

When I want to deal with my issues, I have plenty of addicts in my real life to work it out with.

exaggeration

Sometimes I feel like I'll be single f-o-r-e-v-e-r.

The bad news is no one will get to enjoy me as a partner.*

The good news is I will be able to be there for my friends in ways the marrieds and parents can't.**








* I would be a great partner.
** I can take care of your house / pets, watch your kids, talk on the phone at all hours, take you out and get you drunk, etc...

couldn't have said it better myself

molls entertains me via her tumblr, twitter (@molls) and podcast.

she's years younger than me but, clearly, much wiser:

"figured something out

Here’s something obvious:

If you’re ever talking to a male or a female and they start up on some, “I don’t know why you like me, you’re too attractive/cool/funny/whatever for me” shit, they mean it and they’re doing you a favor.

If someone tells you they’re a loser, they’re not lying. Only a loser would feel the need to point out that they’re a loser. No one acts humble when they want to win.

So if someone says that to you, disassociate yourself from them yesterday. No time to build with small people."

then there's this

The good news is, I, my best friend and my roommate meet most of these criteria. So, boyfriend, schmoyfriend.

actually, this might be my dream man

a fail to kiss is a fail to cope

If you date people who don't totally have their sh*t together it might make you feel good about yourself. But, eventually, it will make them feel bad about themselves. And then they won't want to date you.

This is especially annoying because having your sh*t together is supposed to make you more dateable.

delusions

In the last week I have come up with every excuse outlined in that stupid book, He's Just Not That Into You. I haven't read it but I still know it's the story of my current life:

He's afraid of how much he likes me.
He's taking time to get himself together so he can be "worthy" of me.
His phone is dead. He's out of cellphone range.
He's really busy.
He's gonna surprise me.

WHATEVER.

He's just not that into me. And, truth be told, until he stopped communicating with me, I wasn't that into him either.

On the other hand, I *am* that into these dudes. They are helping me keep what's left of my sanity.

the truth hurts

RT @molls

I just realized that for the price of a wedding, you can have Aerosmith come play a private show for you. So, ill be seeing you, Joe Perry.

flattery

Compare me to this bombshell



and send me texts that say, "...you KNOW that i think YOU are a STONE FOX!" and just see where it gets you.

blast from the past

I just watched some of "Boomerang" for the first time since 1992. I still like the part where Halle Berry says, "Love should've brought your ass home last night" and pokes Eddie Murphy in the forehead.

yeah, duh.

maybe you're just plain dumb

"Why Don't You Love Me" - Beyoncé from Beyoncé on Vimeo.

turns out this is my dream man

I honestly don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

birthday wishes do come true

It only fits on my left, ring finger. Maybe I should just go ahead and marry the one who gave it to me.

self-fulfilling prophecy

When you say, "Don't like me, okay? 'Cause I'll just make you sad."

You just did.

good advice

...it's tough to remember that the first and foremost best criteria for a lovely boy is that he truly appreciates you and gushes all over your noggin'. True, it's nice if there's a bit of stability there, but the one that's serious about you is really the smart one. ; )

are you a drunk drummer born under an air sign?

if yes --> i guess we're supposed to have an affair.
if no --> i guess you have no interest in me.

just received this text

I really l0ve u 2day. really. real l0ve. 4 real. really really. al0t. really.

duckie dale

You wanna know my thing?

If I really have it solid for a girl, I'll ride by her house on my bike.

I'll do it, like, a hundred times in a day.

It's really... it's intense.

these united states, honor amongst thieves

She had [a] thing for one she dubbed too cute to make leave.

the gestalt, since 1997

I can happily live without you. One day we'll be friends. One day I'll be in love with someone else.

At the same time, I still love you and think a part of me always will.

sometimes...

your ex posts pictures of his new girl and it kinda hurts your feelings. So you post a status update saying "Sometimes it's hard not to take *it* personally" but you keep *it* vague. And then he responds, not to your true meaning but to the fact of the statement. And it's ironic.

not for me

The less we say about it the better. Make it up as we go along. Feet on the ground. Head in the sky. It's okay, I know nothing's wrong...

woman's intuition

It crossed my mind you were dating her. But I knew it for a fact when you described how her dog would run out to the garden and "freak out" in the rosemary and then come back inside smelling of it.

the outsiders

Tough, loud girls who wore too much eye makeup and giggled and swore too much.

VS

The girls who were bright-eyed and had their dresses a decent length and acted as if they'd like to spit on us if given a chance.




I always assumed I was a Soc, but maybe I've been a Greaser all along.

kell on earth

"...and he was just like that perfect kid that you want if you're a power girl to roll with you. cause they can just hang out and go to your events and they look cute and they just want to fuck and have a good time..."





when oh when will i be a "power girl" with my very own "kid"?

jane austen

A doubt of her regard, supposing him to feel it, need not give him more than inquietude. It would not be likely to produce that dejection of mind which frequently attended him...Nay, the longer they were together, the more doubtful seemed the nature of his regard; and sometimes, for a few painful minutes, she believed it to be no more than friendship.




I used to be a Marianne, now I'm practicing being an Elinor. So far, so good.

it's not me, it's you

'nuff said.

just about sums it up

#snugglingonthecouchroommatesinlovemakemerealizehowlonelythelastfiveyearshavebeennomatterhowmuchmarriedhomiessaytheyrejealousofmylife



tweeted by an ex-lover

Two heads are probably better than one

Lately I've been complaining about being single.

My coupled friends try to be encouraging by pointing out that relationships aren't all they're cracked up to be.

I get that.

But my point is, how many of them would give up their less-than-perfect partners to join me in the world of the single?

for all we know

a kiss that is never tasted
forever and ever is wasted

dooce

I read Dooce because Heather's writing moves me even though her life and mine have nothing in common.

This quote from her husband, Jon, makes me want to cry, "Is now a good time to tell you that everything is going to be okay? Or should I just be quiet?"

I hope I can be a partner like that one day.

from the desk of dr. oz

This advice refers to people currently in a relationship, "...a loving, healthy sexual relationship is an indicator that things are great all over, and a lack of one means the opposite."

But I can't help but wonder, for the rest of us, is our single-hood also some kind of indicator?







(sorry for the Carrie Bradshaw impression.)