Dating vs. dating

(from hellogiggles.com)

you don't have to f*ck people over to survive

Being the tortoise means you have plenty of time to really notice and appreciate things, things you never saw before, things you never thought before.

First, I realized that the warm feeling I get from "the best" person is partially because of him and partially because of the person I am around him. I like the way I act, I like the things I'm learning. So, even though I don't want this relationship to end anytime soon I am not panicked trying to hold on too tight. One day we might end up just being friends, but I will still get to be this person; maybe even a *better* person.

Second, he has not shied away from flirtation, romance, pillow talk, future plans even though he only wants to get -this- serious. I think most men would avoid these sweet somethings in order to "not give the wrong idea." And that's probably for the best as most women wouldn't be able to keep the two things separate; he'd text sweetly out of blue and they'd think, "He actually does want to be my boyfriend." But because of item First, I get to enjoy those delights of a new relationship, while still keeping my head on straight (mostly).

tortoise, not hare

I've been thinking about bunnies.

First, a wise friend suggested I have to be like a bunny when looking for a date (mate). I need to sniff them and listen to them and use my instincts.

I've been doing that and now I'm spending time with "the best" person.

Three months ago I would have predicted I'd still be doing the bunny - moving quickly, but with a slightly panicked edge. I never would've guessed I'd have the patience to see my date only once or twice a week. I never would've thought I'd be okay with not being monogamous. I would've assumed a big "relationship" talk by now.

But it turns out taking things *super slow* and experiencing what is *actually happening* instead of naming everything and living in the future is really working.

I'm doing my turtle impression, which is way more me anyway.

i always wonder this

http://www.flickr.com/photos/snapabooty/6193780303/

(what on earth did i think about all the time before you?)

winning

I went on an online date with the dude who invented The Game. Not just any player, he literally wrote a book about hitting on & scoring with women. As soon as we exchanged names and shook hands he looked me up and down, said, "You're totally do-able!" and gave me a high five. From there it just got crazier, more fun and, ultimately, creepier.

I'm proud to say he did *not* score with me.

He has continued to contact me. I will probably never see him again, but I have responded to his texts because I want to get as much information as possible about this rare, repugnant specimen.

Maybe I'll end up writing my own book.

gone dating

I have been surprised that men want to pay for the date. Granted, it's just ice cream or a few drinks but so far none of them have let me pitch in. I appreciate it. But it seems so old-fashioned. And I certainly don't expect it.

If we met online, I don't want to talk about it. We both know we're strangers having an awkward conversation because, for whatever reason, we can't meet people in the real world. We don't need to get all explicit about it. Also, boring!

On 2 of the 3 recent dates marriage and weddings came up. Not for the two of us, just general talk. Of course I don't mind; I have *a lot* of thoughts on the topics. But it did seem somewhat inappropriate considering we just met.

huffington post

...because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self -- you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:

Love.

RT @mindykaling

Platonic Close Straight Male Friend should be a horror movie for single women #death #dontdoit

He follows me on Twitter but I *had* to put this somewhere.

dangerous advice

Cancers are not docile, passive, dependent creatures who wait around to be spoon fed their porridge like infants and old people. You have probably prided yourself in fighting for your autonomy and been happy to earn it. Now, however, it’s not about you or your wish to be free. In fact, it’s the opposite. Now you need someone in your life, even if that someone is nearly impossible to reach half the time.

Especially if that someone is nearly impossible to reach.

- Michael Lutin