Sometimes I feel like I'll be single f-o-r-e-v-e-r.
The bad news is no one will get to enjoy me as a partner.*
The good news is I will be able to be there for my friends in ways the marrieds and parents can't.**
* I would be a great partner.
** I can take care of your house / pets, watch your kids, talk on the phone at all hours, take you out and get you drunk, etc...