Tuesday, August 26, 2008

losing my religion

I believe in love; I've felt it. I believe in commitment; I've made one. I believe in forgiveness; I've done it. I believe in getting through the hard times and coming out the other side a little closer and a little stronger; I've done that too.

I know none of this is easy. I get that true love takes blood, sweat & tears. And I understand that sometimes giving up seems like the easiest choice. But I am still getting tired of watching relationships all around me fall apart. It's shaking my faith.

Okay, that's over-dramatizing things. But I have been watching too many / too much: break-ups, cheating, lying, betrayal, making out with your husband's best friend, making out with your own best friend, divorce, sneaking around, yelling, watching your partner suffer and doing nothing to help, blaming, broken promises, violence, selfishness, defiance, digging in your heels just to be stubborn, flirting with younger, cuter (?) people. And it's straight up depressing.

I have been single for three years. Sometimes I feel lonely. Sometimes I wonder if anyone will ever love me again. Sometimes I revel in my singlehood. Right now I'm just glad I'm not in a relationship so I don't have to go through it breaking apart. My tender heart can barely take other people's endings. Imagine if it were mine?

1 comment:

Jozette said...

hey, thanks so much for leaving a comment on my blog. this post was heart breaking - and i feel the way you do about certain things like being single, etc. it's hard watching relationships fall apart. especially when it's your own.