Tuesday, August 26, 2008

losing my religion

I believe in love; I've felt it. I believe in commitment; I've made one. I believe in forgiveness; I've done it. I believe in getting through the hard times and coming out the other side a little closer and a little stronger; I've done that too.

I know none of this is easy. I get that true love takes blood, sweat & tears. And I understand that sometimes giving up seems like the easiest choice. But I am still getting tired of watching relationships all around me fall apart. It's shaking my faith.

Okay, that's over-dramatizing things. But I have been watching too many / too much: break-ups, cheating, lying, betrayal, making out with your husband's best friend, making out with your own best friend, divorce, sneaking around, yelling, watching your partner suffer and doing nothing to help, blaming, broken promises, violence, selfishness, defiance, digging in your heels just to be stubborn, flirting with younger, cuter (?) people. And it's straight up depressing.

I have been single for three years. Sometimes I feel lonely. Sometimes I wonder if anyone will ever love me again. Sometimes I revel in my singlehood. Right now I'm just glad I'm not in a relationship so I don't have to go through it breaking apart. My tender heart can barely take other people's endings. Imagine if it were mine?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

introductory paragraph

My oldest friend asked me to contribute to her blog (eastsidebride.blogspot.com) as I have been in numerous weddings and she thought I had some helpful wedding planning advice for brides all over. After publishing all of two posts I decided it was time to take the reins and create my very own blog.

Most of this will have nothing to do with being a bridesmaid. It will bounce all over from things I love, to celebrity gossip, to rants. There might even be some talk about my feelings.

This is an experiment. I am the kind of person that wants to talk, talk, talk things over and to be listened to and to make sure I am understood and to really get my point across. I think all that might be tiring to my friends, coworkers and roommates. So I'm going to try and lay things out here to see if it satisfies my need to Process.